Becoming "Tefillin Girl"

By Shira Harris

As a self-conscious seventh grader, the concept of wearing tefillin seemed exciting but impractical. I was influenced by peer pressure and wanted to blend in with the rest of my grade. I cared too much about what others thought of me and was not self confident enough to make a bold statement about my Judaism. When presented with the opportunity to wear tefillin, I responded like a typical twelve-year-old.

 Two years later, during my freshman year of high school, as a tallit-wearing girl, I began to rethink about the concept of wearing tefillin. Growing up in an egalitarian community where women wearing tefillin is halachically accepted, I decided that I was ready to begin observing this mitzvah. I was a freshman at an egalitarian high school and felt surrounded by a supportive community with older female students and teachers who also wore tefillin. I vividly remember the day I bought my tefillin. I asked the saleswoman for a set of tefillin, not acknowledging that they were for me. I look back on that day and am disappointed that I was not brave enough to tell her that I would be putting them on each morning. I went directly from the store to my synagogue where one of my rabbis taught me how to wrap it, noting that the woman had sold me sefardic tefillin. 

 I was greeted on Monday with stares, questions, and skepticism from my peers. Thankfully, as the years passed, the questions, stares, and judgements eventually died down. It became routine to put on my tefillin each morning, as well as for my school to see me as “tefillin girl.” What used to make me feel uncomfortable now helps me feel connected to prayer and enhances my identity as a student at school and as a Jewish woman. As one of the Co-Chairs of the Vaad Tefillah at my school, I have taken the place of the women who came before me in mentoring younger students to take ownership of this mitzvah. As I leave the familiar halls of high school, I know that I will bring my tefillin with me next year as I begin college. 

Shira Harris is a senior at Chicagoland Jewish High School in Deerfield, IL. Next year, she will be a first-year student in the Double Degree Program with Barnard College and the Jewish Theological Seminary.